Back to the Smarmoofus Spot
What is a Smarmoofus, anyway?
You're right. I should start by explaining what a smarmoofus is. The term was coined by my ex-boyfriend who was very good at inventing new words by blending two or more existing words together. In the instant case, the words in question would be smarmy and doofus. For those who are not well versed in verbal arithmetic,
The correct definition of smarmy is 'one who gives excessive or effusive flattery,' which doesn't describe me at all. But we had decided that "smarmy" sounded more like someone who was downright sappy with affection, which I admit described me quite well (no, I'm not ashamed of that). I don't think there's any need to define the word "doofus." Oh, fine, if you insist... a doofus is a dimwit, or a stupid incompetent person. He meant it with affection, though, and he applied the term equally to himself (though he rarely admitted to being smarmy).
Who is this Smarmoofus?
I'm a recently-singled (from a longish-term dating relationship--I've never been married) thirty-something woman wandering aimlessly through life. I spent twenty-four of the first twenty-eight years of my life going from one learning institution to another. I have several pieces of paper to show for it. I currently do not work and, when people ask, I say I am a retired attorney. I see no reason to tell you anything different. After all, it's true. My credentials are that of an attorney, and my status is retired. However, I never really identified with my occupational label, and I'm much too young to really be retired. So maybe I'm just in transition until I figure out what I really want to be when I grow up. Er... if. I meant to say "if I grow up." I am beginning to think that I will probably just grow old, not up.
Where did Smarmoofus come from?
I was born in Texas to an Air Force officer-trainee father and a stay-at-home mom. It was a typical 20-hour delivery for my mother (poor woman did that four times!), but things went atypical soon after I was out. I wonder if they used the Apgar scale back then... *ponder* But I digress. I had some health issues, and maybe someday I'll tell you about them. If you know me, you probably already know something about them. Thankfully, that was only one facet of my childhood. Of much bigger impact was being the daughter of an Air Force officer. I grew up socially sheltered, moving from one military base to the next. By the time I graduated highschool, I'd attended twelve different schools in four states and one foreign country. That shaped me. To this day, I hesitate when someone asks me where I'm from. I am sure my answer sounds stiff when I say, "I live in Arkansas." But that is the most concise way to answer the question without suggesting that this is the place where I developed.
Where is Smarmoofus going?
The jury is still out on this one. Oh, isn't that funny? A legal joke. But it's a very good question. One that can only be answered in time, I think.