55 Flash Fiction: To Freedom

June 26th, 2009

Freedom!
“To Freedom” - Photo Date: June 26, 2009

Yay!  Another stellar 55 from me!  Go me!

“Ha-hah!”
He heard her triumphant exclamation and looked in.  “D’you kill it?”
“No, I can’t kill.  I just trapped it under a glass.”
He looked and grinned.  “You really enjoy irony, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?” she innocently inquired.
“You’d really tell me you picked the Amnesty International ‘To Freedom’ toasting goblet by accident?”

Story behind the story:

As you might see from the photo above, I trapped a yellowjacket with a glass tonight.  (Listen, it was either him or me.  And I’m too young and about-to-go-to-Disneyworld to die.)  I noticed what I used to trap it after the deed was done, and I thought it’d make for a great story.  So there it is.  My great story.  Isn’t it great?

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Half-Nekkid Thursday: Barefoot in the Park

June 25th, 2009

Hey… remember me?  I may have been gone for a very long time, but I continued to get half-nekkid in my absence.  And I’m sharing this half-nekkidness with you:

Legs
“Barefoot in the Park” - Photo Date: June 18, 2009; Location: Lake Dardanelle, AR

This is another cellphone photo.  I took a day for myself last week, and found myself about 100 miles northwest of my home, at Lake Dardanelle State Park.  My “plan”, if I may use that term loosely, had been to keep driving west and north until I was far, far away from everybody and everything that was upsetting me.  But then I remembered some promises I made to people I care about who weren’t pushing and pulling me at the same time, so I turned around and came home to keep those promises.  But I have the remnants of a sunburn and this photo to remind me of the day I spent barefoot in the park.

HNT link
is a meme brought to you by Osbasso.


Wordless Wednesday: Trespassers Will

June 24th, 2009

Will's Birthday Cake

 

Will's Birthday Cake

 

 

Wordless Wednesday

And look at all the green for this week’s Thematic Photographic theme, green!

Thematic Photographic

 


Thematic Photographic: Road

June 17th, 2009

A long, long time ago, I began participating in a meme called Thematic Photographic, hosted by Carmi at Written Inc.  As with everything else that I fell away from, I quit posting in response to his meme.  Now that I am trying to be back, I would like to offer up this photo for this week’s theme: Road…

 Cattle at Large... again.
“Hamburger, Very Rare!” - Photo Date: June 14,2009; Location: Near Searcy, AR

Details, details… Last Saturday night, I went to my cousin’s house to have dinner, then work on her son’s birthday cake.  It was an enjoyable, but very long evening.  During my visit, we had a small system of thunderstorms pass over us.  I don’t know if the high winds broke open this guy’s gate, or if he was startled by lightning or thunder and barged out on his own.  All I know is he very nearly became hamburger when I encountered him on the road in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

Thematic Photographic


Pretty Sweet

June 15th, 2009

One of the many things I’ve been up to during my absence is cake decorating.  I’m not ready to go pro any time soon, but I have enjoyed my amateur accomplishments. You may recall Cierra’s birthday cake that I made back in March.  Well, my cousin and cousin-in-law had much grander plans for their birthday cakes this year, but my cousin isn’t much of a cook and my cousin-in-law doesn’t have time to do it all himself.  So they have asked me to help out with some of the work.  These are our creations so far (one more coming next week)…

Princess Lily's CakeHeather's Piratey birthday cake... ARRR!Christian's Wubbzy Cake

 

Credits

  • Castle Cake: baked, layered and crumb-coated by Billy; assembled and decorated by Smarmoofus and Billy
  • Pirate Cake: baked, layered and crumb-coated by Billy; decorated by Smarmoofus and Heather
  • Wubbzy Cake: baked by Billy; crumb-coated and assembly by Billy and Smarmoofus; decorated by Smarmoofus and Heather

Renaissance - (n.) rebirth; revival

June 13th, 2009

I will begin by listing the things that brought me back:

  • you
  • remembering music
  • forgetting the things that upset me
  • unexpected phone calls from dear and distant friends
  • you
  • knowing I have a Plan®
  • and You

I will continue by briefly summarizing why I disappeared:

Wait, no.  It’s too long.  I will bullet-point the highlights…

  • The holidays were hectic (or I was just too lazy… or I was just not feeling it).
  • I spent two weeks in Texas. (Seriously… we went to visit my aunt and her husband/ex-husband/husband-again, and he shattered his hip while we were there, so my mother and I stayed on another week to help my aunt get sorted out for his lengthy hospital stay.)
  • I’m lazy. (Yes, I admit it… I’m just plain lazy.  And?)
  • I spent a week driving around Florida.
  • I get constant interruptions from family. (You see, I don’t work and they’re all busy, so naturally I can just do this one little thing for them, right?  Well, you know what?  All those little things from all those people really start to add up!)
  • I had a two-weeks-long asthma attack that had people checking my pulse to make sure I was alive. (Curse them!  I wasn’t coughing because I was finally sleeping!)
  • Two months ago, I randomly and abruptly reverted to a diurnal circadian rhythm.  (I know!  I can’t explain it!  It just sort of happened one day.)
  • My family monopolizes my every waking minute.  (Yes, I do sometimes pretend I’m still asleep to steal some time for myself.  Why do you ask?)
  • I’ve been devoting a significant portion of my time and attention to my [censored] sister and too-young-to-appreciate-how-much-I’ve-done-for-her-but-she’s-worth-it niece.

*big sigh*

I will finish by adding a personal note:

I have managed to keep this blog mostly neutral, mostly free of profanity (I can’t control the commenters, and I won’t compromise the comments’ integrity by editing them… too much), and otherwise mostly unobjectionable.  However, it’s exhausting to have so much going on around me and then muster up some happy little post.  So I haven’t had the desire to write much lately because I’ve been wrestling with what I want this place to become.  I know that my family knows about this site, and may occasionally pop in to see if I’ve posted any new photos. I would hate to post something about any of them that I wouldn’t say to them directly.

And there’s a lot that I really want to say but I won’t say to them directly because they’re all just so sensitive–in fact, I can imagine the response I’d get if they only read this. “You think I’m sensitive?!  How dare you!  And, besides, what about you?  Getting all upset because someone …”

*eyeroll*  Yes.  Yes, I do think you’re sensitive.  You’re all so sensitive that I’m not even allowed to tell you no to your billion little requests.  And I’m not allowed to tell you a better approach to doing things.  And I’m not allowed to tell you when you’ve hurt my feelings, or invaded my space, or steamrolled me into something I don’t want to do.  Because if I tell you about any of those things, I’m judging you.  I’m telling you you’re not infallible.  News flash: you’re not.  And neither am I.  But the difference between us is I admit when I mess up, and if I’m sorry–IF I’m sorry–I tell you so.  But sometimes I’m not sorry.  I admit that, too.

Also,  I don’t want to turn my blog into a rant rag.  I think I just failed at that.  But this is my renaissance, so we’ll call this a cleansing breath.  Anyway, I’ll dial it back a bit after this.  Promise.  I will find a way to be honest and open without being whiny and ranty… mostly.

So, where to next?  A more personal voice?  Yes.  More expression of me?  Definitely.  I’ll keep using the pseudonym, but you’re going to get something even better than my real name: you’re going to get me! (This is a good thing, so act happy).  Also, I’m not going to redecorate (I’m a big fan of green, and I love my little flowers), so really, I probably could have skipped this post and nobody would’ve noticed a difference in my tone.  But it’s there.  Oh, yes.  It’s there.

*extends hand*  Hi.  I’m Smarmoofus.  Nice meeting you.  Maybe.  *reserves judgment*

I’ll close with some gratuitous photos of my niece.  These were all taken by me.  Some with my spiffy dSLR, and some with my mobile’s 2.0mp camera.  You can surely spot the difference.

Did Santa come yet?


Construction Zone

May 10th, 2009

Since my niece has been spending so much time here lately, I have found myself short some storage furniture.  So I decided I was going to build a shelf unit to fit Cierra’s toys and books on.  I shared this idea with my family, and my brother very quickly became involved (which was welcome, as we work well together).  I had planned to build just a regular bookcase type of piece, but my brother searched online for other ideas, and found a concept for a windowseat composed of two stand-alone shelf units bridged together with an additional plank.  So I crunched the numbers and planned the cuts and we set off for our local home improvement supplies store to get the necessary materials.

We cut all of our pieces from a single sheet of furniture-grade 3/4″ plywood.  I paid $2 extra to have the large cuts done at the store (partly so our plywood would fit in my car, and partly because it’s better to pay $2 to have it done right than to try to figure out how to manage an eight-foot by four-foot sheet of 3/4″ plywood in my garage workshop).  So I went home with four eighteen-by-forty-eight-inch pieces, one eighteen-by-twenty-three-and-a-half-inch piece, and one thirty-by-twenty-three-and-a-half-inch piece.  I also bought two eight-feet long pieces of 3/4″ trim, and four “L” brackets rated for 85lbs each.  I later went back to the store for more trim because my brother took it all the way around the tops, and I’d calculated only for the front, so I was nine feet short.

When we got home, we set immediately to work.  As I said, my brother and I work well together.  I measured off the cuts, and he made them.  And he was tickled giddy to get to play with my nail gun.  We talked our way through the first piece and it took a bit of time, but for the second piece we’d already done all our problem-solving, so it came right together.  We left off cutting the bridge plank for after the two shelves were in place in the window and we knew for certain what the distance between them would be.

By the end of the night,  we had two beautiful pieces of furniture.  They were stain-grade and lovely.  And I deeply regret not taking pictures of them as they were then.  I’d planned to paint them white to match the trim in my room, since the finished product was meant to look built-in.  But my sister and my brother’s girlfriend thought white was boring, and I let them pick different paint colour(s), instead and… *sigh*… I hate it.  It’s not that bad, really, but if you only saw how beautiful they were before they were painted, you’d cry over it now, too.  Because now they just look like common shelves painted a garish blue and green.  And they really don’t match the style of my room.  (Also, if I’d known they were going to look so nice finished, I would’ve planned to stain them, rather than painting them any colour(s).)

But the design is still kind of nifty:

Windowseat/shelves.
“Windowseat” - Photo date: May 9, 2009

 We tested it.  The seat can hold my brother (200 pounds), my brother’s girlfriend (110 pounds) and me (95 pounds), all at the same time.  I think it’ll hold my niece.

I still need to make the cover for the cushion.  Since I let my brother’s girlfriend pick the paint, I’m letting her pick the fabric for the cushion cover, too, so I can’t finish it until she’s decided.  Meanwhile, I’m already planning to repaint or strip and stain it in about a year (after we’ve “appreciated” the blue and green long enough that nobody’s feelings are hurt), and I’ll probably have to re-cover the cushion then with something that doesn’t go with that vivid blue and green.


UnMakeover… *sad*

May 6th, 2009

If any of you remember me (hello, again! *frantic wave*), you may remember that in October, I had a room makeover.  It was lovely, and remained lovely for many many months.  See how it looked when it was new?

Click for original Room Makeover post (will open in a new window/tab).Click for original Room Makeover post (will open in a new window/tab).Click for original Room Makeover post (will open in a new window/tab).
Photos Date: October 17, 2008

This is what my front room looks like after having my sister and niece stay with me for a while:

*sigh**whimper*

*groan**sob*
 Photos Date: May 6, 2009

 I’m hoping things improve soon, because I can’t continue to live like this!  *sigh* *cry*


55 Flash Fiction: Barrel

April 9th, 2009

Keg Stand sign

For my fifty-sixth 55 (Ohmigosh, did she just say “55″?!  You mean there will be one?!) is really just a conversation I had with someone.  It made me giggle…

“The Navy has six warships on their way.  How is that nothing?”
“Well, Obama personally isn’t out there fighting the pirates.”
“While proclaiming ‘Mission Accomplished’?”
“Well, you know what they say about W… he can barrel-roll with the best of them.”
“I think you mean keg-stand.”
“I just knew some kind of barrel was involved.”

Story behind the story:

Some Somali pirates boarded a US-flagged cargo ship off the coast of Africa earlier this week.  The ship’s crew regained control of their vessel, but not before the pirates kidnapped the captain, and are now holding him hostage on a lifeboat which is apparently dead in the water.  Somali reinforcements are on their way to help out their pirate comrades.  Meanwhile, a US Navy destroyer, the USS Bainbridge, is on location, with additional US “assets” on their way (*waves*  Hi, asset!). But a diehard conservative I know is dissatisfied with Obama’s response, and wrote “[Diehard Conservative] is thinking Obama should learn his history lesson about the Muslim pirates before doing nothing about it:  link.”  The above exchange is where I was blowing off steam with another friend… it is not an exchange with the diehard conservative.

Click here to read more about this story in the news.

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Remembering to breathe.

April 3rd, 2009

I missed you last night.  Please come back.  Things are not okay.